


Through Archie's Eyes

by jj_minerva



Series: The Education of Jonathan Riley [1]
Category: Hornblower (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:05:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jj_minerva/pseuds/jj_minerva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Horatio asks Archie Kennedy for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Archie's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story in what was to become a long series set in the Hornblower universe. Later stories introduce original characters. The stories should be read in order.

He stood upon the quarterdeck, tall and slim. His dark hair swept back by the stiff breeze, cloak billowing behind, looking for all the world like the Indy was his and his alone. Horatio. 

Archie sighed and watched his friend surreptitiously for a few more moments from the top of the companionway. He noted the long strong legs, braced a little apart to provide stability as the ship fairly galloped over the waves. The broad shoulders, proudly held; the hands clasped behind in respectful imitation of their captain. 

Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy smiled to himself and moved from the top of the companionway to the quarterdeck, ready to take his watch. Perhaps Horatio would stay a while longer although his watch was ending. Perhaps they could spend some time in quiet conversation, a luxury they seldom shared these days. Gone were the nights when they would whisper together side by side in their hammocks in the midshipmen's berth. Even their time together in the Spanish prison, a time that had brought them so much closer together with promises of even greater intimacy to come, now seemed long ago. 

Horatio had a career now, a career that seemed ready to carry him away from his friend. Archie was still trying valiantly to live down the horrors from his past, to gain the trust of a new Captain, to fit in with a whole new set of officers. It wasn't easy. Everyone had heard of Archie Kennedy's fits and although he had not had a single turn since his return from prison, it was like a black mark on his forehead. 

But through all this Archie still held hope. Hope that one day Horatio would look at him and finally see that it was their friendship that had carried Archie this far, that had helped him forget his time with Simpson, that had given him the will to go on when he was alone in prison. It was the hope that one day that friendship might turn into something more, that gave Archie the will to live. 

"Ah Mr Kennedy, we were waiting for you." Archie turned and squinted into the sun, taken by surprise. He hadn't been aware that Captain Pellew was also on the quarterdeck. 

"But they haven't signalled the change of watch yet Sir, I didn't hear eight bells!" he stuttered out. Why couldn't he be more confident, like Horatio. He wasn't late for his watch, he knew he wasn't. 

"Of course not, Mr Kennedy, it isn't time." Pellew frowned and attempted something of a smile, but it did little to ease Archie's nervousness. 

"We were merely hoping you might be able to settle a matter for us. Mr Hornblower tells me you know Shakespeare quite well?" 

Shakespeare? The Captain wanted to know about Shakespeare? Had Horatio been telling him of his love of the theatre? What would the Captain think of that? 

Nervously Archie licked his lips and nodded. "Yes Sir?" 

He answered Pellew's question and then stood quietly while Horatio and the Captain continued their lively conversation. They seemed almost oblivious to him, Archie realised as he watched the playful exchange. There was something going on here, something strange. The Captain's manner was altogether different when he spoke to Horatio or when he looked at the young lieutenant, his eyes alight with a passion Archie had seldom seen. Horatio was almost coy as he answered the Captain's questions, his beautiful eyes rolling this way and that, lashes fluttering. 

It was in their eyes Archie realised as he watched them talking back and forth, why hadn't he seen it before? But it was there, unmistakably there. Perhaps this was something new, something that was still forming, still developing and for these few brief moments, both men had let down their guard and were unaware that their feelings for each other was showing. Archie looked away into the late afternoon sun, squinting until his eyes watered. 

"I'll leave you gentlemen," Pellew was saying and Archie made himself turn back and face his captain, standing to attention in a rigid pose. "I'll see you later Mr Hornblower," Pellew added quietly as he left the deck. 

There was silence as Archie waited for Horatio to speak. Somehow he knew he would, he could feel the tension in the air between them, the uneasiness in his friend's posture now that the captain had gone. 

"Archie? May I ask you about something?" There it was, the dark eyes looking towards him, full of... what? Hope? Longing? But not the sort of longing that Archie had hoped to see one day. No, this was a longing for help. 

"Of course Horatio, you can ask me anything." Archie smiled at his friend and watched as the Horatio nervously looked away, weighing up his words. 

"For some time now, the captain and I have been... well, we've become closer. It was after Muzillac. I was ... well... I felt I had failed in my mission and Captain Pellew spent some time counselling me, guiding me." 

A far away smile crept onto Horatio's full red lips. "He told me about when he was a young lieutenant and some of the challenges that he had faced." He looked back Archie suddenly, the look direct. "We found we enjoyed each others company, our friendship grew, and now, tonight, Edward has invited me to his cabin." 

Archie knew he should speak, knew he should say something, but the words dried up in his mouth. Somewhere deep inside he felt ill, a growing sickness that brought dark images to his mind, images he fought hard to banish. 

"And do you want to go Horatio?" he finally asked although he knew his voice was far from steady. 

"Oh yes Archie, it's not like that." Horatio licked his lips and a flash of pity showed in his eyes. It made Archie wince. 

"I know what might happen, I want it to happen. It's simply that," and again Horatio hesitated, "It's just that I've never... I don't know exactly what or how." 

Archie blinked, still waiting for Horatio to make himself clear. 

"Captain Pellew must have so much experience and I don't want to disappoint him. I was hoping you might be able to tell me what to expect. I know you've done it before, Archie." 

"What?" Archie gasped. Did Horatio really think that he wanted to remember what Simpson had done to him? Surprise flashed across Horatio's brown eyes. "Oh I didn't mean Simpson, Archie. I meant with a lover." 

A lover? Of course Horatio would think he'd had a lover? In the Spanish prison Archie had told so many tales to Horatio that his friend must have drawn his own conclusions. But didn't Horatio realise he'd merely been trying to put on a brave front by voicing his own wistful fantasies so that Horatio wouldn't realise the true extent to which Jack Simpson had crippled his life? 

Archie was just about to answer harshly that he'd never had the pleasure of having a lover when he saw again the desperation in his friend's eyes. The call for help that Horatio could not make to anyone else. 

"Please Archie? I know this is very personal but I just want it to go well tonight. I don't want to disappoint him." 

It took all of his strength for Archie to smile back at his friend. "Of course Horatio, I'll help you." If nothing else, he could do this at least, so that Horatio wouldn't face the unknown. And perhaps if he could explain it all, then Horatio would be saved the terror that he had experienced with Simpson. For surely if you did this willingly, if you did it with someone you cared for, then it wouldn't be as bad, would it? 

"There are lots of things that you might do with each other Horatio, " Archie began, looking around to make sure they were not overheard. 

"You'll probably start by holding each other, that can be pleasant." Archie thought back to the times Clayton had held him and comforted his fears after Simpson was through with him. The strong arms had felt good around him as he cried out his pain in the dark. But that was all Clayton had done. Archie had wondered at first why Clayton didn't stop Simpson, but he soon realised that all of the midshipmen were scared of Jack Simpson. After a while even Henry's arms had ceased to be a comfort. 

"And you will probably kiss each other. Have you ever kissed anyone Horatio?" 

Horatio blushed, "A few girls, but that's all. Nothing very much." 

"Well I'm sure the captain will be happy to show you that." Archie almost smiled as he remembered the number of times that he had almost kissed Horatio in the Spanish prison. The full red lips always so close and yet just out of reach as they sat together talking on their bunk. If only Horatio had given him the smallest bit of encouragement. Now another would taste those lips. Archie looked away. 

"What happens next really depends on what he likes, Horatio. There are several things that he might want you to do." 

Archie felt the sick terror resurfacing and fought to control it. It is over, Jack Simpson is dead and he will never lay his filthy hands on me again, Archie told himself as he confronted the demons that he tried so hard to keep at bay. He felt his mind begin to cloud and whirl and he looked back to Horatio's soft dark eyes, searching for a haven, somewhere to anchor himself while he rode out the storm. The feeling passed and he took a deep breath, surprised at how easy it was now to pull himself back from the precipice that threatened to throw him into a fit. 

"You might undress and lay in his bed," Archie continued quietly. "He will probably give you some indication of what he wants." He paused again and looked at Horatio's flushed face and lowered eyes. "There are things you can do with your mouth." 

Horatio looked up, his eyebrows raised a little. "Mouth? Do you mean.." 

A gust of sea spray offered a welcome relief and gave Archie a chance to compose himself again. Not meeting Horatio's eyes he continued, "Yes, you can use your mouth on his ... organ." Archie looked around and took note of where all the seamen were. He motioned for Horatio to follow him over to the taffrail where they both stood looking out to sea for a moment. "Give me your hand," Archie finally asked and when Horatio yielded, Archie took two of the firm strong fingers into his mouth and preceded to demonstrate some of the techniques he'd learned while Jack Simpson held his hair in his fist and a rope around his throat. 

"I see," Horatio finally replied when Archie released his fingers. "Do you think he'll want to do that to me too?" Archie looked back at his friend, feeling something akin to jealousy. "If you're lucky Horatio." 

"And what about the other?" Horatio finally asked as they walked back to the wheel. The other! Archie knew exactly what Horatio meant. Of course Horatio would know about that. He'd had to listen to Simpson's abuse too often not to know what was happening. 

"Well yes, he might want that too." How could he explain this to Horatio? How could anyone willing give themselves to someone like that. It hurt and it was humiliating and yet Archie had heard that there were men who readily indulged in this act. Perhaps it was different when you had the choice. 

"Remember Horatio, if he cares for you he will be careful. There are things he can do to make it easier for you. It will hurt, but at least you'll know that you're giving him pleasure." Archie thought back to how he would escape from himself when Simpson took him, how he would retreat so deeply inside himself that he didn't want to come back. He'd often wondered if in doing this he had somehow started his fits himself. He'd probably never know. 

"Just close your eyes and listen to him and you'll know that he's enjoying it. Tell yourself that you are the one responsible for that. That you are making him feel so good." It was all the advice Archie could think to offer. 

The small red tongue licked at the full red lips and Horatio frowned slightly. "And will he let me try that too?" Horatio asked seriously. 

Archie shrugged. "I don't know. I think if he did, you would know that he cares a great deal for you. But don't be disappointed if he doesn't." 

They both stared out to sea again, at the sun that was sinking low on the horizon. 

"Just remember Horatio, if you don't want to do something, tell him. I know he's our captain, but don't let him bully you to do things you might not want." 

They looked at each other then, the spectre of Jack Simpson hovering unspoken between them. 

"I'll remember that Archie, and thank you. You're a true friend." 

Horatio left then, his cloak billowing around him in the late twilight as he made his way down the companionway to disappear into the bowels of the ship. 

Archie stood the rest of his watch in silence, counting the minutes as they went by. The first dog watch had never seemed so long. He watched as the stars appeared above him cold and remote, so far away. They offered no comfort as he thought about Horatio meeting his destiny in Captain Pellew's cabin below his feet. 

When four bells finally sounded and he was relieved of his watch Archie made his way below deck. He wasn't hungry, but forced himself to eat a little in the wardroom before quietly making his way to Horatio's cabin. It was empty, Archie discovered as he peeped in through the small glass window. Not surprising really, it was still early. He let himself in. If things didn't go well then Horatio might need him. But Pellew wouldn't do that, would he? Surely he wouldn't hurt someone he cared for. 

Archie rubbed his face and sat on the end of Horatio's bunk. Please let Horatio be all right, he prayed as he pulled his knees up, rested his head, and finally fell to sleep. 

There was a gentle hand stroking his hair and it felt so good. But suddenly other memories broke through, and Archie sat up gasping in terror. 

"It's just me Arch. It's all right." 

Archie grabbed the figure in front of him by the shoulders as his panic slowly subsided. "Are you all right Horatio?" he asked desperately. In the milky light of dawn Archie looked into Horatio's eyes, searching for signs to tell him what had happened. 

Horatio beamed back at him, his face lit by inner happiness. "Of course I'm all right Archie. It was wonderful." But the smile slowly faded to be replaced by something else. 

"Did he hurt you?" Archie asked not understanding the change, still worried about the wellbeing of his friend. 

Horatio sat down on the bed beside Archie and looked at his friend. 

"No Archie, he didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt at all." The voice was too soft, too wary. 

Too late, Archie realised what Horatio had deduced. Too late to laugh it off or change what he had said. Archie waited, almost cringing not wanting to see the pity in his friend's eyes, wanting to leave rather than face what was to come. 

"Who was your lover Archie? Who treated you so badly?" Gentle fingers brushed the blond hair from his eyes before, waiting patiently for him to answer. 

But Archie couldn't. He simply shook his head and fought back the tears that threatened. If only he could leave, but Horatio's hand held him more surely than any rope or anchor. Time passed and still they sat and Archie knew that once again he must face the unthinkable and answer his friend. 

"There was no lover, Horatio. There was only ever Simpson. I just wanted to help you, I'm sorry." 

It was said. Archie made to go but Horatio held him back, gripping his arm. 

"Archie wait, I'm sorry too. I had no idea. I thought... ." 

There was nothing to do but stand and listen. Archie had no reply, for what was he to say? He wondered why Horatio had always misjudged him, why his friend had never looked beyond the brave front that he tried so hard to show to the world. If anyone knew Archie's hidden fears it was Horatio and yet he never questioned the stories he had spun whilst they whiled away their time in prison. Stories of shore leave romances, of wild nights, of the theatre and the many friends he knew. Oh Horatio, did you ever wonder if there was a reason I told you those stories? 

"It's all right Horatio, you have nothing to forgive. It was my fault." 

Horatio let go of Archie's arm and rose to stand beside his friend. 

"You were half right Archie. It's different when it's someone you care about, someone you love." The words were soft, almost inviting and Archie looked up suddenly hopeful again, his heart beating wildly. 

But Horatio wasn't looking at him. The dark eyes were lost in thought, remembering a night spent in heaven with someone else. 

"You'll find someone one day Archie, don't give up hope," Horatio said finally and Archie looked into the dark eyes one last time before turning away. 

"One day, Horatio, one day." 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Originallt published 2002. Edited 2012


End file.
